<p>
	Judge tells couple to say &lsquo;kind things about each other&rsquo; to their children</p>
<p>
	A mother who lost custody of her children after moving them to another county and taking up a job there has had shared custody reinstated by a judge.<br />
	In a District Court in the west of Ireland, the judge was told the mother of two young boys had since moved back to the county where her former partner lives and is currently unemployed.</p>
<p>
	The couple had lived with their boys in the local area for more than two years before they split up. They both worked periodically in well-paid jobs and also had stretches of unemployment.</p>
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	In March this year the judge, who is not being named to ensure the identities of the parties involved are protected, gave sole custody of the children to their unemployed father on an interim basis.</p>
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	He said the mother had moved them to another location without informing her former partner, enrolled them in a new school and was living with her sister with no home of her own, and an offer of work that &ldquo;would engage her fully for a number of months&rdquo;.</p>
<p>
	Psychologist&rsquo;s report<br />
	The father was living in the family home, the judge said, and his family lived locally. The children had friends there and strong educational connections. On balance it was better they were in a place they knew, at a school they knew, with friends they knew and &ldquo;with a parent who is available to parent fully at this time&rdquo;.<br />
	The judge also asked for a psychologist&rsquo;s report to help address custody and access.</p>
<p>
	Yesterday, the solicitor for the mother said his client was satisfied with the recommendation of the psychologist that custody be jointly shared. She had moved back to the locality and was seeking work locally. She agreed her two young boys should remain in school in the area.</p>
<p>
	The mother initially told the judge she would like to have her children full-time for six months, on the basis that she had not had custody at all in the previous six. It had been extremely traumatic and her health had suffered because of it, she said.<br />
	The judge said he regarded the mother&rsquo;s health and welfare a secondary issue to the welfare of her children. &ldquo;I appreciate you haven&rsquo;t had the children but that was in essence your own fault,&rdquo; he said.</p>
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	The father suggested he have the children from Sunday night to Friday afternoon, with the mother getting them at weekends, but the judge said he agreed with the psychologist that there should be a 50/50 arrangement.</p>
<p>
	He adjourned the case for brief periods in the hope the couple might come to an agreement between themselves.</p>
<p>
	Joint custody<br />
	But no agreement was reached and the father said it gave him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was doing the wrong thing when he considered signing a document for joint custody and access drawn up by their solicitors.</p>
<p>
	The judge said he would instead make orders in the case. He awarded joint custody with week-on, week-off access and &ldquo;liberal phone contact&rdquo; with the children. He told the parents they were both &ldquo;very well-meaning and very headstrong&rdquo;, and warned them he&rsquo;d seen unresolved family disputes that resulted in children later coming before the criminal courts.</p>
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	<br />
	He suggested they take a businesslike approach to their relationship in future and treat each other with respect. &ldquo;There is no reason why your respective lives should be upset or burdened by bitterness,&rdquo; he said.</p>
<p>
	<br />
	The children needed to hear them &ldquo;saying kind things about each other&rdquo;, he said.<br />
	He adjourned a decision on maintenance to November, leaving in place an interim order requiring the mother to pay &euro;100 a week to the father. He said statements of means should be filed by both parties.<br />
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	<a href="http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/mother-regains-joint-custody-of-boys-after-moving-back-to-west-1.1926150">http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/mother-regains-joint-custody-of-boys-after-moving-back-to-west-1.1926150</a></p>
