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	Residents and &lsquo;reluctant&rsquo; carers tell Citizens&rsquo; Assembly about experiences in institutions</p>
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	Loneliness and isolation were common themes in interviews with elderly people on their experience of nursing homes that were played to members of the Citizen&rsquo;s Assembly at the weekend.</p>
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	A woman (86), who lives in the south of the State, said she spent 10 months in a nursing home in Dublin following a hip injury. She was deemed well enough to return home but her children wanted her to stay there.</p>
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	&ldquo;I was away from everybody, sure I didn&rsquo;t know a sinner and I loved my home so I got very, very homesick,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;They [her children] said &lsquo;mam I think you&rsquo;re foolish, you&rsquo;ll be on your own and we&rsquo;ll be worried sick about you.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
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	The woman took matters into her own hands and ordered a taxi, at a cost of &euro;320, to bring her home.</p>
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	&ldquo;I said to myself when I was in the taxi coming home &lsquo;praise the lord, I&rsquo;m doing the right thing,&rsquo;&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I was so lucky to have the money. The children weren&rsquo;t very pleased with me, they didn&rsquo;t speak to me for about a month because they thought I was taking things too much into my own hands.&rdquo;</p>
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	A 95-year-old man from Dublin, who is confined to a wheelchair, said he had been in a private nursing home for almost three years and that &ldquo;they are great places provided they are properly run and serviced&rdquo;.</p>
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	&ldquo;You may not necessarily get a single room, you may have to share, you could have three other people in a room with you. Depending on who you&rsquo;re sharing with, it could be hell,&rdquo; he said.</p>
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	&ldquo;You get three good meals a day, high-quality meals. You sit down and it&rsquo;s put in front of you. As I said to the family &lsquo;I&rsquo;m not worried about me now and you&rsquo;re not worried about me now because you know I&rsquo;m in good care.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
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	However, he said some interaction between members of the local community and nursing home residents would be welcome.</p>
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	&ldquo;There are people here who have no visitors, now that&rsquo;s sad. Unless you can get out there&rsquo;s no contact with the outside community. I think that the local community should have an association with the nursing home, whether it&rsquo;s the golf club, the local GAA club or school.&rdquo;</p>
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	&lsquo;Sense of duty&rsquo;</p>
<p>
	The assembly also heard from Eamon O&rsquo;Fearghail (47) who cares for his widowed mother Kathleen (87) who suffers from dementia. He said he wanted to respect her wish not to end up in a nursing home.</p>
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	&ldquo;It was not so much a choice but rather a natural decision born out of necessity. In hindsight, if I knew precisely what I was getting into I might have chosen a different option. I would say that most carers are reluctant carers. They have taken on the role out of love and a sense of duty,&rdquo; he said.</p>
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	Mr O&rsquo;Fearghail, who has been caring for his mother for five years, said at one point he felt he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.</p>
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	&ldquo;I actually turned up to a psychiatric hospital and asked them if there was anything they could do for me. Unfortunately, there was nothing and I was referred back to my GP. My medical insurance would not cover any services they could provide.&rdquo;</p>
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	(Published by the Irish Times on the 13th June 2017)<br />
	<a href="http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/family-would-not-speak-to-woman-86-after-she-left-nursing-home-1.3115738">http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/family-would-not-speak-to-woman-86-after-she-left-nursing-home-1.3115738</a></p>
